Pinterest. The funeral ceremony is conducted at the place of the cremation. Would she like to have a reception for some or all of the attendees of the memorial service? Rather than quoting the Bhagavad Gita directly, you can also take its essence and interpret that into something meaningful. Here's a list of simple and concise condolence messages that can be sent to a person in grief. Incidentally, it is perfectly acceptable not to cry, as each person processes grief differently. If you wonder what Hindu funeral traditions are like, they can be different from traditional American funerals, but the core fundamentals remain the same. The bereaved person could be venting out emotions and if we simply give them our ears, it will be comforting. Distant relatives and more casual friends and acquaintances may prefer visiting the family at the funeral home. Friends and family visit the bereaved during the period of mourning which in Hindu traditions lasts for around 13 days. What kind of gift is appropriate for an occasion? After you hear about someones death, it is pretty customary to visit the deceased family at their place immediately for offering your sympathy. Such tasks can include arranging for the ambulance, delivering food, cleaning the house, doing the shopping, taking care of paperwork, keeping smaller children occupied and assisting with funeral arrangements. Any distractions must be shrugged away until we are out of sight, and away from earshot. This setting gives the family a larger space to accept visitors and allows easier interaction with others. Here are some thoughts and guidelines when considering a personal visit at the funeral home: Upon arrival, go to the family and express a simple condolence. Deepest condolence messages very helpful in grief. There is a Mukhagni ceremony where the family is given one last look at the deceased. It is better to dress conservatively. It's best to stick with their request at such a sensitive time. If they are in hospital, it is helpful to inform the chaplain about their spiritual needs (with the patients permission). And if you plan on visiting themyou'll spend more time in silence rather than offering condolences. What to Write in a Sympathy Card for a Hindu | Cake Blog Certain Hindus may choose to remain at home during the mourning period and not visit the temple. Can you tell me what exactly happened? Planning A Funeral In Singapore 2023 Guide - Costs, Services & Customs It is believed that free expression will keep the body healthy, instead of bound by mourning and unresolved anger. Organ donation is accepted and encouraged in the Hindu faith and should be discussed with the family when appropriate. Whats regionally accepted in Southern India, for example, may not be appropriate or even standard in the North. During this time, some of the traditions will limit or restrict participation in festivals and events, as well as discourage making life-altering decisions like changing jobs or moving. Many make allowances for the cremation to take place but the Hindu funeral rites may be executed on-site. And then it is appropriate to briefly visit the bereaved family at home at the end of the day. Drop her a note periodically, or even an e-mail, to let her know you're thinking of her. Household items like decorative rugs, afghans and blankets make appropriate gifts to honor the memory of the loved one. If its not possible to visit there, then make a phone call. But may his soul travel swiftly to the next destination. The coffin is generally open, and guests are expected to look upon the body and be seated in the room for the service, which is conducted by a priest or a senior member of the family. Are you afraid of Sivasankar, court asks Customs; allows five-day custody, Chennai roads inundated as cyclone Nivar triggers intermittent rain, These Kashmiri families are eager to vote in Kerala local body polls, Wanted! Families differ in their religious beliefs, social preferences and cultural outlook. Another common mistake is to pass remarks on how the family could have taken better care of the person who passed. For a parent, sons and daughters are equally precious. 82 Telok Blangah Dr, #01-43, Singapore 100082, Copyright 2021/22 Funeral Flower Singapore | www.funeralflowerssingapore.com, 199+ Heartfelt and Deepest Condolences Messages For The Bereaved, 50+ Sincere Christian Condolence Message For Loss of Loved One, Funeral Ceremony Traditions of Different Religions in Singapore. All rights reserved. Perhaps your friends child died as a teenager and didnt have a chance to go to university or get married for many reasons. Hindu - A gift of fruit for the family is the appropriate gift. Though a useful principle to follow universally, it is most handy while visiting the bereaved. Generally, only people who are particularly invited to the shraddha ceremony will attend. Complete Guide to Hindu Funerals - TFS Funeral Flowers Singapore In either case, develop a list of questions that your friend will need to answer. Amen. Leaving footwear outside is part of local culture in India, and is a respectful gesture in this context. In this sect of Hinduism, theres no food or drink offered to the family for up to 10 days. Introduction to Hindu Funerals. In any context, bad manners are those that make other people uncomfortable. If a family member has persistent trouble sleeping, help must be summoned. Your sister was a beautiful person. It is important to avoid language bloopers like hearty condolences, a common error in this part of the world. Everyone one of us was inspired simply by knowing Avindash. Bereaved Etiquette for the Loved Ones on the Day of the Funeral Please navigate to the relevant forum to create a new thread or post a reply. Otherwise, if they show and express sorrow, guests will offer words to help them accept what has happened to move forward. There, husbands and wives increasingly share household roles as dual-earners. May she rest in peace. In general, it is never inappropriate to dress in a way that reflects respect and sorrow for the somber moments of mourning a loss. When one is in the cycle of rebirth, you would ask God to give momentum to the soul because the Hindu journey is ultimately to reach God. Close with warm words, such as "With deepest sympathy." During times of grief, everyone wants to say or do the right thing, the loving thing, the appropriate thing, but it isn't always clear what that is. Below, well use this concept in offering messages for the loss of a child. A "shraddha" ceremony. To this end, even a simple note will suffice. Visiting in person and/or attending one or more of the traditions and rituals the visitation, wake, or shiva, the funeral or memorial service, and the burial or final resting service can be appropriate and will be appreciated by the mourning family. There is often an emphasis on white flowers. It is appropriate to visit the bereaved before the shraddha ceremony and attend the service. When offering sympathy messages to an Orthodox Hindu for their sibling, youll find that the atmosphere of condolences is much different. They also believe that the souls next incarnation depends on the personskarma (actions during their previous life). Thank the family for offering the honor to you. This ceremony is attended by male family members and a priest. Where would it be held? For instance, if the family head shows or voices no grief, the guests will respond similarly. During the weeks and months of loneliness that follow, especially after the crowds disperse, the bereaved person might feel that the world is avoiding them. He seemed fine when I saw him last week! Did you check her cholesterol? What did the first ECG show? Was he wearing a helmet? When was her last chemo? are but a few examples of such unwarranted questions. Although their intent might be good, it doesnt always work that way. 8. There is no need to cover the head. We have the perfect wedding, graduation or housewarming gift for someone special in your life. Please consider whitelisting us in your ad blocker so that we can continue to provide the content you have come here to enjoy. A compassionate gesture is often all thats needed while visiting the acutely bereaved. Its important not to confuse peace and speed here, as speed is the best and appropriate choice. Upon learning of the death of a family member, friend or colleague, it is common to contact a member of the family to express condolences and offer help and assistance. Today, many take their ashes to a nearby place to their home. For many people who have experienced a death, it can be helpful to know that their closest friends and family are thinking of them and are available to help. Members of the immediate family aren't chosen, as their place is with the family. Hindu Funeral Customs and Rituals - Legacy.com Unfortunately, while social topics like table manners get discussed at home or at school, most of us have not received any formal training on this sombre topic. Visiting in Person | Condolences | eCondolence.com Is 'Leela' an appropriate tamil brahmin name for a baby girl ? Honorary pallbearers do not actually carry the casket at a funeral, and they do not serve at a memorial service because there is no casket present. While visiting the bereaved, our focus should remain completely on the departed, and the grieving family. Decide upon the best way to get the word out to friends and relatives about the service. Service animals are allowed. Some people in India may denounce being Hindu, but their lifestyle may suggest that they still live like a traditional Hindu. If the bereaved person would rather speak to someone they dont know or needs additional support, specialist bereavement support services (see below) are available. The truth is, each family is unique, and a visitor will have little idea about the actual pains that the family went through to keep the person healthy and alive. Bereavement Questions and Answers Emily Post During this period, the close relatives of the deceased person abstain from celebrations and . You can quickly highlight a friends accomplishments without getting too wordy while acknowledging their belief systemsas a general way of living. It may work for a coworker or friend who has lost their spouse. Your mother had a happy death. If You're More Casually Acquainted With The Person Who Died Or The Bereaved During this period, the immediate family follows all Hindu mourning rites. Because of the short cremation time, there is no requirement for embalming. The Bhagavad Gita says that the bodys destiny is to die. The family should be consulted about any jewellery and religious symbols that need to be left in place. In the Southern state of Tamil Nadu, messaging can go one of two ways when losing a parent. Deciding to stop by at a funeral on the way to a wedding, therefore, can be suicidal. After someone dies, their body should be treated with respect. It is often a custom and part of the Hindu death ritual for the family to share a meal together and offer prayers for the departed, themselves and their house. It may not display this or other websites correctly. The body of the deceased should be released as quickly as possible to enable the family to prepare for the funeral. It is eternal, all-pervading, changeless, immovable, and primeval. Remember, the subject of your eulogy is the person's best qualities, not your feelings. That said, if you are thinking about contacting the bereaved or would like to offer your condolences, you should absolutely do so. Find Appropriate Sympathy & Condolence Baskets. 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The bereaved family usually stays home from work for one week following a death. Hindu funerals usually take place within 24 hours of death. As hard as it can be to believe, some overly curious visitors have the tendency to interrogate the family about the cause of death. It is also appropriate inHindu tradition to send sympathy gifts. Dr. Vasudha Narayanan, Professor of Religion at the University of Florida and. Ultimately, Hindus believe that through praxis, accumulation of good karma, and divine grace, moksha (liberation) can be achieved after death. It's a good idea to have a friend read over your eulogy. It is not uncommon to hear one person pass a negative remark about the deceased persons character, soon to be joined by other likeminded people who fuel the conversation into a full-fledged debate. If a Hindu, they can participate in the chanting of mantras. Otherwise, they may quietly sit throughout the chanting. However, the following brief and simple condolences will let the grieving family know you care: We are sober, we are really sad about his sudden departure, May the Creator accept our prayers on his behalf. Loss is hard. I will be attending the funeral of a Hindu colleague. When someone you know has experienced the death, it's a natural impulse to want to reach out and offer sympathy, condolences, and support. Its important not to confuse peace and speed here, as. It is also appropriate in Hindu tradition to send sympathy gifts. While silence is perfectly acceptable, a few well-chosen, soft words of comfort can help ease the pain. Adherence to a strict mourning period is less common today. She may depend on you entirely or she may wish to participate in the planning and have you take care of the details. This forum contains old posts that have been closed. The funeral home will have chairs for the family graveside on the day of the funeral. In her own time and way, she will start to venture forth more. Funeral Mass (Requiem) is performed in a Catholic church by a priest. Organ donation is accepted and encouraged in the Hindu faith and should be discussed with the family when appropriate. "Would you like to have lunch with me next Tuesday?" Chances are youll know this about your friends familial history enough to gauge an appropriate message based on his upbringing. They cannot visit the family shrine and are not allowed to enter any sacred place, such as a temple. This is made worse when people pick the phone up and start talking at the top of their voice as though they were at a party. The urge to dish out free advice and meaningless platitudes must be resisted. One must specifically avoid words that trivialise the event, some hilarious examples being: I cant believe he is deadhe looks like he might just get up any minute! As absurd as it might seem, in todays fast-paced world, there are instances of people placing wreaths on the wrong coffin, and even consoling strangers after mistaking them for immediate family. After that, the body has to be cremated. . After a person succumbs to illnesses such as cancer, some visitors make public assertions about magical cures that have no scientific validity, claiming that the person could have been alive through such means. Also, there may be a Hindu funeral ceremony called shraddha that usually takes place after 10 days from the death. Traditionally, the Hindu mourning period ranges from 10 to 30 days. No two families and no two deaths are the same; it is therefore a pointless exercise. 1. It's worth noting that some communities and faiths have an open casket at the visitation and at the funeral service. Passing such a negative remark is easy, just like watching cricket on TV and blaming a fielder for dropping a crucial catch the person criticising has no idea how hard it is to be out there performing. Those who are emotionally close to the bereaved person may quietly ask How are you and give them a chance to express their feelings. A Hindu priest will be invited to visit and to purify the house with incense, prayers and mantra. Some Hindu traditions advocate devotional singing and scriptural recital during this time, rather than consider it a time of mourning; instead, realising it as a celebration that the soul has now been liberated and resides eternally in the abode of God. They'll surely understand. Funeral Customs around the World - Eastern Europe For some, it can be a sense of awkwardnessa fear of saying or doing something inappropriate, or an aversion to seeing grief-stricken people. Some Indian-Americans journey all the way back to India to immerse the ashes in the Ganges or visit many pilgrimage sites to seek blessings for the departed soul and solace for their own pain. Relatives may wish to sit at the patients bedside, sing. One of the worst bloopers and a bane of modern technology when not done right, taking unsolicited photographs is a total no-no at a home where death has just occurred. Those people are greatly missed as they create such a hole for those they leave behind. If you are a friend of a friend: Send an email or handwritten note at your convenience. The family also . She'll let you know, when you ask, whether or not she wants to see you and or needs anything. We believe reflecting on our mortality can help us lead more meaningful lives. Visitors must realize that none of these questions would bring the person back; there is no second chance in death. Catholicism: Periods of Mourning | Grief | eCondolence.com For a better experience, please enable JavaScript in your browser before proceeding. Mourners customarily choose to wear simple, white clothing to the funeral, although this is not a religious requirement, and a Hindu priest usually leads the prayers. Such people can be heard passing comments like When you look at her, she doesnt come across as someone who just lost her husband. And unlike a phone call or a personal visit, e-mail doesn't require an immediate response from the recipient. E-mail is a immediate way to reach out and say, "I'm sorry. This is an important death ritual, which usually takes place throughout the mourning period. The rituals will reflect a time of service and mourning, showing the familys dedication to Hindu teachings, beliefs about death, and honoring the memory of the deceased. Your sister was a beautiful person. If you are a close friend or relative: Call or text immediately, find a time to visit the bereaved at home, and continue to stay in touch on a daily basis. Usually, Hindu funerals take place within a single day and sometimes, two days after the deaths time. 15. However, you may send or bring flowers ahead of time. If this cultural shift is your cousins history, it might be appropriate to mention that distinction to honor them both after offering condolences. Although attitudes and risk tolerances vary, no sane parent would knowingly do anything that would harm their child. Silence is golden: Mark Twains classic quote is noteworthy in the context of visiting a bereaved family. Today we offer a wide range of books, online resources, training programs for all ages and topics, a weekly podcast and a selection of greeting cards and paper products. Gifts of food and red flowers are not acceptable; white flowers are considered the appropriate mourning flower. what to say to someone who has experienced a death, How to Express Sympathy: What to Say and What Not to Say. Visitors are also welcome during this period. Time spent at the funeral home may vary. The length of the mourning period in Korea is largely dependent on the individual and is traditionally for 100 days. In such situations too, it is helpful to remember that no hospital would knowingly do anything that could harm the patient. (2008). We are very sorry for your loss. The world of Emily Post etiquette advice is at your fingertips. Customs vary by tradition, but are conducted by a local priest and involve prayers, scripture readings and chanting. The loss of a child is particularly devastating for parents, and it is totally wrong to pass such remarks that implicate their role in the childs death. I understand that not only did your friend mean a great deal to you, but also that Keyur was well-loved by his family and community. Everyone has to wear white, including the family members and guests. 10 () . Exchange stories about your loved one. There are several ways to show honor and to respect the memory of the departed, including visiting in person. A Hindu priest is an officiant, who presides over all Hindu funeral rites. When it comes to jewelry, they should not wear anything flashy and keep it light. advice. If you want to do something now, send a donation as suggested by the family. She lived her life to its fullest, so we should celebrate her life to honor her legacy. Do not grieve for his body, for his soul is eternal. Your father was a wise man. It is best to make the enquiries on the day of death, and remain close to the bereaved and assisting them.If this is not possible, one can visit the house on even days except monday, tuesday and friday., even the monday is an even day thanjavur dist. 12. I remember my neighbour had a much more terrible time with the same disease. Copyright 2018 Manoramaonline. When someone experiences the loss of a loved one, visiting the bereaved in person is a thoughtful way to convey the deepest sympathy and offer support. Once the major decisions have been made, visit, or at least speak with, the person performing the service. The fees for the advice of an attorney should not be compared to the fees of do-it-yourself online People should wear white and not black. When Is The Right Time To Offer Condolences? | Everplans