It presents itself as fairness, yet attempts to restrict and control peoples language with strict codes and rigid rules. George Carlin, 60. Ever wonder about those people who spend $2 apiece on those little bottles of Evian water? Theres only the immediate future and the recent past. George Carlin, 22. Because theres no money in that problem. And when you suspend your individual beauty you also give up a lot of your humanity. }()); But there is an I in independence, individuality, and integrity. George Carlin, 14. And the invisible man has a list of ten specific things he doesn't want you to do. Theres no present. googletag.cmd = googletag.cmd || []; Dont just teach your children to read Teach them to question what they read. Why not Despair, Guilt, Rage, and Grief? It creates a hostile work environment. [.] What are your favorite George Carlin quotes? It takes up a lot of your time. One good reason to only maintain a small circle of friends is that three out of four murders are committed by people who know the victim. window.csa("Config", { It's a big club and you ain't in it. 4. - George Carlin profile quotes. They own all the important land. But once youre born, youre on your own. var useSSL = "https:" == document.location.protocol; Like the boogie man. In fact, George Carlin had some pretty interesting things to say about government. - George Carlin profile quotes. If it requires a uniform, its a worthless endeavor. George Carlin, 11. Witty George Carlin Quotes 1. Press Enter / Return to begin your search. George Carlin Quotes Government : "Most of the government wants to control information and language so that it can control you. [CDATA[ They own, and control the corporations. stylesheet.rel = "stylesheet"; Theres only the immediate future and the recent past. Question it, and try to see the world for what it actually is, as opposed to what someone or some company or some organization or some government is trying to represent it as, or present it as, however they've mislabeled it or dressed it up or told you. Laugh until you gasp for breath. George Carlin, 3. Maybe this time itll work. George Carlin, 59. No money to be made off of the homeless. Lets get started! Theyve long since bought, and paid for the Senate, the Congress, the State houses, the city halls, they got the judges in their back pockets and they own all the big media companies, so they control just about all of the news and information you get to hear. George Carlin, 63. Trying to be happy by accumulating possessions is like trying to satisfy hunger by taping sandwiches all over your body. They own everything. George Carlin political quotes may seem sensitive, but they inspire necessary conversations. , Deal with it. George Carlin, One can never know for sure what a deserted area can look like. George Carlin, A house is just a place to keep your stuff while you go out and get more stuff. George Carlin, I dont have pet peeves I have major psychotic fucking hatreds. George Carlin, Some people see the glass half full, others see it half empty. We have multiplied our possessions but reduced our values. Im talking about the real owners now the real owners. Born: May 12, 1937. //]]> Governments dont want a population capable of critical thinking, they want obedient workers, people just smart enough to run the machines and just dumb enough to passively accept their situation. George Carlin George Denis Patrick Carlin (May 12, 1937 - June 22, 2008) was an American comedian, social critic, actor, and author Carlin was noted for his black comedy and his thoughts on politics, the English. Whether you agree with him or not, George Carlins views on government are definitely worth considering. George Carlin quote: I have certain rules I live by. My - Lib Quotes Thats the only thing keeping it and expanding it wherever possible. George Carlin, 57. When Thomas Edison worked late into the night on the electric light, he had to do it by gas lamp or candle. 11 Profound Quotes on Politics by George Carlin We havent tried that for a while. Some people see the glass half full, others see it half empty. The government doesnt care about you, or your children, or your rights, or your welfare, or your safety. Trouble is, most of them suck. Ever. Tell them the paint is wet, and they have to touch it to be sure.George Carlin, Instead of warning pregnant women not to drink,I think female alcoholics ought to be told not to fuckGeorge Carlin, I tried to believe that there is a God, who created each of us in His own image and likeness, loves us very much, and keeps a close eye on things. q("i", arguments) You do drugs, alcohol, you party, you get ready for high school. The 531+ Vicious Quotes Page 5 - QUOTLR try { Creative Commons. And armbands. I have certain rules I live by. Dont sweat the petty things and dont pet the sweaty things. George Carlin, 19. var sourcesToHideBuyFeatures = ["ebfg_gr", "ebfg_fb", "ebfg_fbm", "ebfg_tw", He loves you and he needs money. Im always relieved when someone is delivering a eulogy and I realize Im listening to it. What exactly is viewer discretion? George Carlin, The most unfair thing about life is the way it ends. I just dont have as many people who believe it.George Carlin, How come when its us, its an abortion, and when its a chicken, its an omelet?George Carlin. George Carlin. A.async = !0; Now you can finally see what made George Carlin the dad tick. Life gets really simple once you cut out all the bullshit they teach you in school. He loves you. Most people work just hard enough not to get fired and get paid just enough not to quit. George Carlin, 21. My first rule: I don't believe anything the government tells me. Disclaimer: As an Amazon Associate We earn from qualifying purchases. if (a[a9]) return; Planet, species, race, nation, state, religion, party, union, club, association, neighborhood improvement committee; I have no interest in any of it. " George Carlin Quotes "War will end when people stop showing up for it. Good, honest, hard-working people: white collar, blue collar, it doesn't matter what color shirt you have on. It doesnt only represent the good things. And apparently Im not a very good American because I like to form my own opinions.George Carlin, Im completely in favor of theseparation of Church and State. These two institutions screw us up enoughon their own, so both of them together iscertain death.George Carlin, I dont have pet peeves I have major psychotic fucking hatreds.George Carlin, I went to a bookstore and asked the saleswoman, Wheres the self-help section? She said if she told me, it would defeat the purpose.George Carlin, If your kid needs a role model and you aint it, youre both fucked. George Carlin,Brain Droppings, Its important in life if you dont give a shit. The quality of our thoughts and ideas can only be as good as the quality of our language. George Carlin, 25. And, let me tell you, theres nothin like it. ' George Carlin, 56. Deal with it.George Carlin, Think of how stupid the average person is, and realize half of them are stupider than that.George Carlin, He and if there is a God, I am convinced he is a he, because no woman could or would ever fuck things up this badly.George Carlin, I dont know how you feel, but Im pretty sick of church people. Some people dream of things that never were and ask, Why not? If youre born in America you get a front row seat.George Carlin, Dont sweat the petty things and dont pet the sweaty things.George Carlin, If its true that our species is alone in the universe, then Id have to say the universe aimed rather low and settled for very little.George Carlin,Napalm & Silly Putty. Your dog thinks you're a god. The big wealthy business interests that control things and make all the important decisions. //]]> But there is an I in independence, individuality, andintegrity. George Carlin, If its true that our species is alone in the universe, then Id have to say the universe aimed rather low and settled for very little. George Carlin, The caterpillar does all the work, but the butterfly gets all the publicity. George Carlin, Men are from Earth, women are from Earth. George Carlin, A house is just a place to keep your stuff while you go out and get more stuff.George Carlin, Theres no present. Because he was a genius, and here are 11 quotes that prove it: 1. Have you ever noticed that anybody driving slower than you is an idiot, and anyone going faster than you is a maniac? Think of how stupid the average person is, and then realize that half of them are stupider than that. var ue_mid = "A1PQBFHBHS6YH1"; It always has been. }; George Carlin 13. And the main reason women are crazy is that men are stupid." 2. Heres all you have to know about men and women: women are crazy, men are stupid. Most people work just hard enough not to get fired and get paid just enough not to quit. That is against their interests. Im not sure silencing people or forcing them to alter their speech is the best method for solving problems that go much deeper than speech. It will not be with jack-boots. //It's a Big Club, and You Ain't in it - American Thinker Thats the problem., I call him Governor Bush because thats the only political office hes ever held legally in this country., Political correctness is Americas newest form of intolerance, and it is especially pernicious because it comes disguised as tolerance., Forget the politicians. function(a9, a, p, s, t, A, g) { "//securepubads.g.doubleclick.net/tag/js/gpt.js"; By and large, language is a tool for concealing the truth. It is one that we need to function as a society. George Denis Patrick Carlin was born on May 12, 1937, was an Americanstand-up comedian, actor, social critic, and author. Who the fuck is going to invade the US? Save the planet? Never argue with an idiot. Trying to be happy by accumulating possessions is like trying to satisfy hunger by taping sandwiches all over your body. var cookies = document.cookie.split('; '); #privileges. Right in the f--in head! Don't sweat the petty things and don't pet the sweaty things. 87 Best George Carlin Quotes On Education, Politics & Life The only person who is with us our entire life is ourselves. They own everything. Those who decide what news you will or will not hear are paid by, and tolerated purely at the whim of, those who hold economic power. Im not sure thats the way to fight discrimination. He was regarded as an influential and significant comic of all time. Before, all you had to go by were these 14 quotes. 50 Motivational George Carlin Quotes For Success //Ice Cube Shares George Carlin Quote About Politicians: 'They - Newsweek All rights reserved. The Grammy-Award-winning star of 14 stand-up comedy specials on HBO, George Carlin was widely considered one of Americans most influential comedians. "The reason I talk to myself is because I'm the only one whose answers I accept." ~ (George Carlin). The planet is fine. All random, all undetected, no way to trace them to me. The late great comedian George Carlin has many great quotes about life and society, here are some of them. What do you get at the end of it? You have owners. Its a great feeling. We and our partners use cookies to Store and/or access information on a device. George Carlin, Dont just teach your children to readTeach them to question what they read.Teach them to question everything.George Carlin, How can He be perfect? You have no choice. Have you ever noticed that anybody driving slower than you is an idiot, and anyone going faster than you is a maniac? He is a sucker for good coffee, Indian food, and video games. George Carlin's full name was George Denis Patrick Carlin. I dont have to tell you it goes without saying there are some things better left unsaid. After all, he was one of the most successful comedians of all time! Weve learned how to make a living but not a life. Heres all you have to know about men and women: women are crazy, men are stupid. Best Quotes & Jokes by George Carlin | SComedy They own you. We talk too much, love too seldom, and hate too often. Religion is like a pair of shoesFind one that fits for you, but dont make me wear your shoes. var cookie = cookies[i]; Dont just teach your children to read Teach your children to question what they read, teach them to question everything. People cant seem to get it through their heads that there is never any healing or closure.